tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
