My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
