i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
