there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
