I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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