You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
