I'm going to jail i love you
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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