I looked at my own cervix.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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