brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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