they need to just BURY HIM!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I supernannyed him into submission
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
