dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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