yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
