And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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