Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
