It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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