Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i would punch a child for taco bell
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
