Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Text me some of your sweat
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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