i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
