I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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