Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
