normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to fling myself into the sun
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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