My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
