Everything about him screamed your future.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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