I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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