the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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