girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
