Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
