This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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