dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
