Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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