I need help removing her.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
