i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
did i just pee glitter
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
