I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
