I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
