whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
