guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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