Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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