I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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