No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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