My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I showed him my bush... on skype.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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