dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
