It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
