i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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