Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
