So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
