drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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