And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
