I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
