went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
