I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
