YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
