you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
