He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
