Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
